my god.congrats to ITE CE, we won against Meridian JC ,but Meridian JC did well to, over all it was a friendly match,score was 7-0. it's alright, they're not our real opponents tho.Surprisingly,my senior in secondary school were in their team, wooh! hi munirahh !!.we all were shock yet hapy. cause previous match didnt do quite well.okayy okayy,if you don't know what im talking about ,im talking bout soccer girls(: i played in the first game and he last game.got whacked but ...who cares?hmm.btw my socks are blue colour,hee previous was purple nice right?

went home,feeling tired and happy.went home parents ,were just lazying around,after a while they went out.i've got work to do,take a break and called my abg(: went online as well. but was away.chit chat with my abg till 9.30? and he wants to eat, so called back again at 10.00? and chatted till 12.30,gosh i was so tired and sleepy as i was waiting for my mum with the food she bought for me,cause im freaking HUNGRY!!!hahah not eating dinner but supper? cool yeah..after eating rested for awhile and went to sleep,but gosh i couldn't sleepa t all till about 3? and today woke up at 1? nyahahaha tired bodoh!!mum cooked sweet and sour fish fillet,sedap oik! haha now my turn abg!!*thatwas extra information only*

hmm now just resting and blogging,well much to write but lazy larhhsss...k i still haven't check the result of my testes,put up at t06-06 haha, my class lab number(: hmm i hope i pass ,like ya...
kk getting hungry now,have to EAT!!eat only you know uh fiqa,HAHAHA, to you guys also, have a good lunch aite (:

everything's going "perfect" now ! mum just can't stop nagging,dad always finding fault,brother CHILDISH AND FUCK UP! who the hell are you even if you're in secondary? just fuck off too! still in short pants so don't fucking think that you're always fucking mature.the whole family are actually really fuck'up.

still solving some problems in school.lucky i pass my chemistry test*phew* because of the problems so beating hard in head and thinking too much, my headache is just getting worst.SICK !URGH!

what's wrong.. just what's wrong with the people around me and why's the world turning upside down??maybe this ' challenge' is a bit too big for me to go through.i wanna say sorry to my adik*in school* not my fucking asshole pain in the ass brother! for crying over the phone,and as well as my brother too.

i guess i just need that one to be there and hug me that's all.anyone is able to be that one, but still depends.IM GLAD YOU'VE GOT YOUR STUFF BACK !! leave me! don't come back!

Labels: waduhshitsgoinonterme

uhm.. today was nothing much?...parents noticed its not me as said, been few days?...tmr have to get my ass back to school. not sure if i could even smile or walk around looking at some people's faces.but i have to.

Had lunch at about 4?watched IP man,felt abit bitt better,mum asked to watch our holiday videos dad found while clearing the study room,that video fyi, was 10 YEARS BACK !i felt very touched and cried to see me young and how different i've changed .and so.. everyone's on their own.now me blogging.the rest watching shark's tale?blurgh!

to ;
all this while i know i've been hurting your feelings,and im sorry if i've done so.Never thought this could be worst,but at least give me the chance to say the truth and explain everything,i understand you're feeling very hurtful and therefore no other words should be said.I've never had another crush,i swear upon god, but if you still assuming that is going on,i've got no comments.It's hard i know.Some things you said wasnt true.But if all the things you've said are true and that it should happen..i'll do it for you,so that i won't hurt you anymore and so i've payed back all the mistakes i've made,may you tell your problems to your goodfriend or so,i'll accept that,and if you hate me,truly understood.

My feelings now are all crashed too,cause im shock to receive that message,i cried and though i've done it.It's up to you to forgive me or not,do please find some other girl who doesn't hurt your feelings at all,i guess you've wasted your time on me.Thanks for the time spent together and always wishing you all the best in life and success.Do good in your course and never give up.It's best if we both leave each other alone and don't talk at all for now onwards,cause talking to us again will makes things worst but one thing before we go separate ways,i would love to get things cleared first.just give me that time and never you'll see me again.not any drama here but the TRUTH.

If only you'll listen and trust.JUST TRUST...

Labels: how i wish someone would know

Recently problems get worst and bigger, tried to solve it but it's just hard to. feeling very stress and all i can do is cry? well friends are helping but i don't feel any better..feeling empty inside no one knows, but looking happy outside its obvious, now another thing i would like to say is that, it's totally up to you, to believe or not, seems im always hurting your feelings do ignore me and enjoy your life, find a new girl, and please forget me in order to not add on the misery.might as well i give up and kill myself.but im trying hard to do t in a proper mature way,thanks for the concern my friends gave, and all i can say is "i'll try..." don't force me or anything.i trying not to do anything stupid, but thanks alot.im all fucked up, and stress and having that all-over-the-place feeling. argh! i've got no comment already lah.. all just cracking up and getting much more miserable.

hmm kay, i guess im really not in the mood to blog, did this post for just kill time while waiting for someone to come online definitely not shafiq! my friend.like what else you've got to say?? let it all out. urgh! im like so not me! not again! kay.. shut up fiqa...from now i'll not be me ad see how it goes..never in my life i've to carry so much responsibilities and sulking here and there and complains here and there.just don't hope anything from me now on.give me time and i'll be okayy.just bare with me and you'll understand.

Labels: fucked up day that not trying to hurt anyone else

Labels: alright

HEYHO! haha, sorry for not updating regularly..been busy lahh...got few to update too :D no worries..hee~

I've been in the grey mood thee few days,not knowing why, till i guess may have hurt someone other peoples feeling? Shit, im sorry guys, just don't whats wrong with me and not realizing anything when im in the greys....

Ohh! yesterday's cross country was awesome, achieved something which me and aqilah thought of and what ive wanted to also.first time of my life got the top 20 position among all the B girls runners, that's 17 okayy!! hahah i didn't actually sprint all the way but i did stop here and there and not stop to rest but did brisk walk*winks* so still moving!!haa... prize of it was a goodie bag of college east jersey*sleeve-less and fbt shorts* nice colour ..i'll show you kay...

today,supposedly to be greys,but friends cheered me up and let it all out to soccer?well didn't exactly get to concentrate on the game we had just. soccer girls for college east against bishan team, gosh... bishan gals, were very good and can't stand one of them which more to a guy then to a girl, wondering if he/she gotten into the wrong team or category.'coach was still proud of us and yeah, we'll try harder aite !! :S

hmm.. had a great chat with my friend, and so well see what's next aite ? haa~

i gotta take enough rest now! i have to! i'e been awake and not giving my body the rest it needed! three days straight excercising hard and now's the time to sleep and rest!!

Labels: yeah

kay about the problem between parents children thingy, was such a bad idea, didnt know who i was, but everything is trying to get back to normal as long as i promise myself to control the "other-afiqah" inside me?... fuck it !

kay, sadly, i manage myself to understand the cum-pli-ceh-terd chemistry methods and equation to doo.. =.=" haish and to be honest, that was my first time listening to Mr Ng during chemistry lesson like prac uh..oh yeah that's only a topic im dizzing about, till have got more to come ! and kancong-ly and last minute-ly, tmr i have my exam on argh! is at 9am and at T06-06, well just have to assemble there, kana study liao tonight, i never even pay any attention to what Miss Loh was mumbling about all this while.!! kk, not gona sleep till i get all the summeries in head and finally sleep*hope to not forget all the summerized stuff in my sleep* im serious!!hmm this is only IFS not yet chemistry which tried learing. well i just hope i can concentrate and revising notes otw to school babeh!!!

mostly likely i went crazy in school cause i drank redbull and coke?? nyahaha ! i saw something which i shouldnt be seeing and waiting to see at. nahh.. you don't have to know peeps. but also crazy on focusing siaaa!! nabeyyy!! well lucky today in school im happy and not in the grey mood. but weirdly my friends don't ge me? it's okay friends. haha...see you people tmr ! take care.

Labels: what a day to even get myself back and also crazyy

kay alot of bad things happen recently aite, im not blogging much as either i can't use the com or can't be bothered.first of all, congrats to AFS competitors yesterday who went up for the challenge and make us proud, aysraf,me,ganga,jayvan and iza(: and special thanks also to the supporters; desmond,zi ying,kelly,wen yi,fredrick and if i missed out, thank you guys ! :D...


now's the bad part.yesterday i had a big ugly fight with my own parents it was very ugly, i never behaved like that towards them and i felt very very guilty, it was something i wanted to have but end up chaos.i didnt know who was taking over me, cause i was not myself, it always happen when im angry.i can remember very clearly even if im angry or sad or watever, i dont show and behave like a total another person who my friends dont know.dad told me himself that if i were to get a big scolding from him or any nasty stuff, im gone get sick . and yes, today im fairly sick.i recalled back what had happened last afternoon, and had to explain to them what actually was taking me over.i hope dad understand but im seriously scared of my mum, she burst out yesterday and only after that 'anger' i've stopped make me realize, who was the jerk that took me over? seriously im very upset with myself now and i didnt know what to do. my parents are away now to johor, and when they come back its time for the big game to start again, a big explanation.my hands are cold half a day already. serious shit! i dont whats wrong with me, i've been thinking bout it eversince i've kept alot of problems in my head and pressure going up.


in school may seemed happy but heart not.not showing it, but im sorry if i show or let go.may at time i need time alone, but dont worry bout me, now im in deep shit, and have to convince of my own big mistake. i really hope i wont let this happen again, and not to my parents especially.im sorry papa & mama ):, not gona show or any, but leave me alone for the time being,

ive got lots to update but no mood for it.not sure how long it takes but but just bare with it.leave me alone and ill heal myself, but if i do anything wrong to speak up to me, so i'll realize it, and causing any trouble.thank you. and bye.

Labels: im in deep shit.