dear sayang,
It's only three days and im missing like hell, trust me not this day only just on the first day,im already dying...and your bestfriend zufar ,didnt had the chance to stop me from crying....

i remembered the first day you went off,it was raining cats and dogs,the whole day i was worried sick bout you.i wonder if you're wet and safe and eaten lunch and shelter...worried sick alright!

well, its already Friday and hope that Tuesday comes fast...just entertaining myself with the same old thing...laptop,TV,songs,games... :/ i can get sick of this...maybe i also wished to go back to school so i could meet you outside after your work or maybe your off-day... (:

SAYANG PLEASE COME BACK ):

This is what i feel like writing,because i feel very lonely without you with me, i could then understand how much your company can mean to me.I know I've sometimes pushed you aside,but somehow i feel lost now.. without you with me.. ): i know that being with me is the only thing you'll always wished for,and im having that feeling now,i do wonder sayang,do i have to feel like this only after you're away? Maybe to be honest I've always taken advantage when you're around... with me... ): and im sorry... very ):

I find it stupid for us to breakup.We've been great since we were strangers, and definitely not throwing those memories down the drain.The time i asked for a breakup,i could feel the pain of someone trying to tear your veins apart from your heart.But what i could think of was whats best for you...you know sayang, my wish is to see you happy and not hurting yourself ever again.I think i did was right that is to let you find your happiness but whats wrong was me loosing something that i have been loving for a very long time.a very long time sayang!

This is for you to read and know that your presence has given the feeling that im secured with you,you're like a phone call away.When you're away,im not sure if i can hold myself back up.i miss you sayang, i missed you very much! i got sick thinking and worrying bout you there,but i should know that you're safe with your family and having fun.

You said at 8 on the day you left,i must stay near my phone and wait for your call to hear your voice that always makes me smile,i did, i waited till 4am but not a ring.i almost cried for waiting ...but i trust that any minute you'll call,but no...trust me i could just cry and felt very lonely.i went to sleep with full of sadness in my heart.The next day when i woke up,i tell myself it's okay,maybe you're tired and i shouldnt be disturbing you,so i told myself that you'll call .

Again at 8pm i waited by my phone and waiting for a ring from you.i was hoping that i'll not go to sleep with sadness again,one an half hour later......you called! i was happy! very excited!i spoke to you with full of tears,and my heart beating fast,but honestly , you sound normal....i don't hear your excited and sad voice....instead you were normal....i was thinking...didn't you missed me?? Did you really forget bout me??if you really did forget bout me , i don't blame you caused i told you so, but don't you missed me?? i missed you like goddamn much and i hear your voice normal.

You said you're excited and everything but you couldn't show it,i really turned off by you sounded like that,sorry but im being honest, continued...we can only chat for awhile due to the outgoing bills..and again i was sad,never thought after you calling me i can feel sad again.At least we chatted for a while.You did explained to me why you didn't call me last night,and so i was alright...alright?(:

im very sure you noticed the change of my voice when we were talking after i asked you why you sounded normal.Yup i told you not to promise me anything cause it'll give HEART ACHE!!I SWEAR I WAS EXPECTING YOUR CALL!!URGHH!! ): ):

We ended the call and then chatted with zufar and qilah on the phone as they wanted to conference.But i have to admit that its not the same talking on the phone with them compared to you sayang...): it's not...zufar and qilah did try to tell me things like you've got a family and stuff like that,but nothing changed my mind and feelings bout you ): Im just weak and sick for the pass three days thinking when can i talk on the phone and meet the person i love so much back.... ): every night...before i go to sleep.... i'll think of you and i....cry..... because you know that i feel like i've lost something very precious which i think cost more than my TV!

So...today is Friday...four more days to go...im counting down the days yes i do.........haaa...i just want you back shafiq sayang ): i just want my baby(you) back....i want you with me...you see this is just one week "." not yet your NS... But i think positive that...when you go NS every night you can call me,and as usual you can company me to sleep (; but what i hate most is ... i can't be with you!! im always in your arms shafiq! but when you're there..am i still in your arms?!! am i?! NO!! i know you don't want that but you have to...haaaaa....i don't know.....im.... dead without you sayang.... ):

Being patient and loving at the same time , can actually do you something good.

(A quote)PS:when i love someone, and im patient bout it..yes you shafiq you know it's you...and all my saved-up wishes will start coming out....

Shafiq sayang...lau ble, please jgn tinggalkan i lagi...i tknk sakit sebab i rindu u sgt..please..i sayang u sgt,i tknk u pergi...i nak u....i swear that's true.


a lonely girl awaits for her lover....

Labels: i hate such..

Holla! i really had a great time with my boyfriend,Shafiq(: yesterday. We spent time walking around,window shopping and then lunch and finally personal(:

Spending time with me was the only thing he ever wished for...so im also trying my best to give him my time,kinda sad that he's going for attachments,and away,but i believe he managed to hold on while i was gone for attachments for about 4 months,lucky that shafiq's attachment is only about 2 months or so...(:

I actually enjoyed myself,but still in head i just couldn't take the thinking off that he's off today.well,early in the morning today he called me and talked for a while before everything shuts down.well i cried to his last call and thats it , he's on plane and gone,haha you know that he's going only for 6 days? NYHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH,

i know its only a week and im being emotional, well what to do? i love him! of course w/o him as always, its gona make me feel damn awkward..girls, you know that feeling okay!....hmm right now, still trying to hold up, cause its not half a day yet, but this morning it rained heavily and i hope he's alright there,i wonder if he's soaking wet,oh dear, i really hope he's alright.):i'll be waiting for his call tonight.

well,yesterday we took alot of pictures and then we went for printing,fr the first of the time me and him at least printed out 8 pics of our own choice.pheww! i thought i felt never been better.(:

well im really missing him right now, just waiting for his text or call.alright then,i go now.. see ya bye!

Labels: a day i should never forget.