The lectures and advise you gave had already sunked in my head for a very long time.But i find that you are at the same time trying to demoralize me.i get what's my mistake,thanks for reminding me to not repeat the same mistake,but its not encouraging me either.You want things like last time,im making that time.But are you?maybe you do not know how much it really cut my veins for waiting for you as long as four hours when i could go home and sleep and study and all,i choose to wait for you but what's the result? 5 mins?? that's seriously sucks.i can't too much.im sick, not feeling well,like i can just turn off like any moment.don't say you appreciate,because that's just words.I get that iim always texting around you,but..now you are,a revenge to me? astaraghfirullah.*if i spell that right* I will accept that.where's the time given when you're at home?sure to be a reason,why you can't.What am i now?where can i go to. everyone's like so busy,and im trying to find someone who can actually help me,HELP ME not ENJOY WITH ME! like stated in facebook,i'll be normal, but you'll be worrying.i dont want that to happen.because it'll not be pretty.stop demoralizing me u, stop! it hurts.will you get tired crying very night?

insyallah, everything will be fine.im very sensative now.just anything can hurt me.i haate being fucked up with you.tk bgs.sorry but i have to go off. continue later at night.

Labels: guide my way dont let my way astray

One thing.Feeling excited the whole day of the plan,planned.

Second,spent like four hours at qilah place to wait for you and entertained myself by watching DVD's

Third,bad news came up and had to settle it.

okay okay, here's the thing, waited for four hours at someone place is super embarassing and i had to make myself a thick skin pal to just kill time, or else, im nowhere.

Super sad i had to leave you at a very quick time.i was already crying,cause it hurts.It really hurts for you to leave just like that,it HURTS alot.

You came back,when you don't have to.maybe you don't know my attitude that even if im being sulky i expect you to come back but you're acting as if you just known me yesterday. )=

I loitered around,i was feeling very down,when you came(: thanks for cheering me up. i appreciate it,but sorry if i've let it out,THAT'S ABIT OF WHAT YOU FACED. consider yourself lucky(: I get scolding coming home late,but it was worth it.im ): but also (: get it?

haiz, i don't know lah, to you, im not understanding,but to me, you're there...which one is right also im confused with.

Right now, i can still feel the stretch of the veins near my eyeballs as i have already poured alot earlier,but who cares.im just waiting for my buddy to online,hmm if you're too long,i might have to go offline as im very tired,haiz, strained eyes.. ):

I changed to be a quiet person,but it's only for a while, i want it to last longer as so i wont be easily heart broken.hmmm, certain things i can be demanding ah, but it wont happen if one dont do anything wrong.

i hope we could be much more happier and no arguements.seriously im tired,IM TIRED!
THANKS(:

Labels: i want us to end

I hope things are going to be better soon.finally the attitude of 'talking things out' is in me.I talk things out and problems are settled properly, but certain things im still not satisfied please forgive me for being not being satisfied.I feel like crying but it really hurts to ave those tears rolling down my cheeks.im weak, im sorry.

Right now thinking when shall i start to revise as tomorrow is mama test,gosh how can i forget that.I guess im improving alil, im studying hard and i manage to answer almost 95 percent of the questions in the test although Mr Tong english sucks! (:

Hungry!i need cheese fries!my goood! i don't know why i've been craving for cheese fries even after having one to myself.Yesterday had fish/chicken like burger -.0' nyeh! :B

OMG! i must admit,i miss fizah!even after meeting her during raya haji, for a day, is not enough.
Fizah aku rindu kau!

kay skrg, tk tau nak uat ape.. kay lah bye! (:

Labels: pull up my socks girl..

This is like the second post, im writing. firstly im bored and secondly, i just feel like writing out my feelings.

As usual,mum came from work, first thing first, nag,second had to clear my flooded balcony, like super annoying.

enough of that, now this:
yes as i said on fb, im not with you, but somethings you do can really hurt me so bad that what i've told myself was true, maybe i shouldn't say or talk anything because it doesn't matter.Like seriously , it doesn't matter.AT ALL!Ya up to you ah, what you want to do,but its normal for people to take a glance,not like i want to see but it appeared on the facebook homepage.Its annoying ah...i really don't know what to say..seriously its up to you,i hack care with what you're going to do.But i should also admit, i still do care alil inside, but i don't show,what do you know? you know nothing, nothing at all.I don't blame you,but it really hurts alot.you know when i say something its all a lie.but i don't think you even care.bak kata org melayu"buat ape terkejar kejar, kalau org lain dah tak nak" btol sgt sgt lah tu!...

So, is this your revenge to me?huh? doing what i did that can make you sad, to me? please ah that's childish,already i find you desperate.im trying to get back to normal but it wont work if you keep hurting me...not physically ah, but inside sia.maybe im still caring bout it, where else i shouldn't be.appreciate that im still caring rather then like what you said, end it like how we started,STRANGERS . i hate that,so don't make me do it.im trying to forget things but it wont work if ou keep bringing up the past,im trying to see you as a changed person but it wont allow me if you keep behaving like an asshole.u see that ASSHOLE!

i need u; you weren't there
i love you; do you?
im jealous; you're not
im lonely; you're busy
just leave me if you cant make it.
PLEASE,DON'T HURT ME

Labels: im done

Well, getting bored at home..but can't do anything..

Sorry that i can't meet you today,we'll try some other days okay? please don't be sad.Im trying also.

Texted mum what time she come home so i can go out for awhile to meet a friend,but, no reply.. sadsad D:

i hate heavy rains and end up flooding my balcony , GRR!

seriously, tkde kerje skrg, mendak sioool!

Tomorrow sunday, monday school, now can go to school thursday back to normal, cause work starts at 3 and fridays too..sians...

ape lagi..?ohh

it truly irritates me! like seriously..stop it ah.Maybe you thought is just asking asking, and keep repeating that "one day the truth is out" irritating ah irritating.not only one, but a few,bug him? for what?tak perlu eh okaay? :D forget bout the low profile thing we've planned, its no use already,if it becomes a issue,i dont know what to say.but im out of the group to discuss bout it.i hope you can stop it. cause its IRRITATING and i dont wish to speak up no matter how hard you try to persuade or dig it, alright! :D i will shut my mouth,anw, if you know already why still ask? asl? scared if its not true?then dont ask lagi ah,its simple (: Lucky im going off soon.satu masalah, dari pada satu.try your best lah okay?:D cause it wont leak from me(:

Labels: the game begins....

Its been a while, i haven't update my blog and so coming to facebook and MSN.

The reason why? computer bitches and crashed! Laptop was sent for service, while it still have that one year warranty thing.Uhuh (;

Now that i can come online,blogging and fb-ing, no one's on ): But it's okay.they're schooling? and working? blurgh!

By right, now im having class, but i don't feel like going.. lazy? but later working, heh! :B attitude baiiikkk! (:

Obviously i've been missing someone so badly, we need to meet ): like seriously, but you're super busy and tired, so.. it's okay? ):I can just WAIT.

Yesterday raya haji, was average? boring at first house, second house cousin's are there, but watched tv and not talking much,third house super boring, but loved her sotong sambal! :D Mum was looking at batik lepas,for occasion later in december, gosh, i hope i can walk properly with that batik lepas.haha! (:

Even if i look relax kan,im still thinking seh...how am i going to get it done,is it appropriate or not.susah lorr!!nvm, there is a way! *(:

Do you still love me? Do you still need me? am i still there in your heart? am i still the lucky one?do u think of me when you go to sleep? I STILL LOVE YOU,DON'T LEAVE ME OUT );

Labels: tell me where our time went

Been working on thursday and friday..can say tiring ah, cause doing two things in one day and not eating? yeaah(:

i get what i need on thursday! Wax jeans! superb! Thanks bestfriend ! (: But it was hard to find,nyeh =.=??

Yesterday friday, had test and SW was cancelled,thanks ah siaaaa! i came with SW attire and no PE.then test was "AWESOME" yeah, group discussion,nyahahaha! :B alahh.mama biasa ah..

Something i've told or intended to do really make me happy,cause it putted a smile and excited on my mum(: i hope this would be the best gift ever(: but ah...money havent come to me... ): tk sabar nii.i thought it would be a bad idea , cause my to my parents would be a waste of money and blah blah, but ah! instead of accepting the phone, mum wants the original casing ordered online which i dont know how much! like what my friend say, going to BANKRUPT soon,nyahaha(: But to me its okay, its my own parents (:

PS: where's the time im looking for? i understand but, i hope its not forever. yes i had fun spending time with you, but half way you tell me those change of plans really hurts me,alot. first you said that and now this? been really looking forward for a longer time spent.im sure you've seen roughly how am i fed up? that's not all.im controlling,and i dont know show.i also dont want any negative things to happen when we're together.haiz, i seriously dont, know, yesterday my heart just crashed so bad.i dont wish to cry on alternate nights anymore,please . what are we sehh? ):

no one know's.

Labels: leave me